《How To Win Friends And Influence People》 英 | 《如何赢取友谊与影响他人》 中 -- 个人看法以及读书笔记

by Dale Carnegie

推荐指数：★★★★☆

你想变成一个能言善道的人吗？

你想知道怎么才能让人毫无怨恨的服从与你吗？

这本由戴尔·卡耐基，一位著名的人际关系学大师在1936年所出版的《How To Win Friends And Influence People》记载了关于如何以说话方式有效的处理人与人之间的关系。

此书不长，仅有四个部分。分别是：

• Part One ( Fundamental Techniques in Handling People )
• Part Two ( Ways to Make People Like You )
• Part Three ( How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking )
• Part Four ( Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment )

其中最长的部分是第三部分（Part Three），最短是第一部分（Part One）。

Summary

小小的重点摘要（摘录书中的句子）：

PART ONE 

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

PART TWO 

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
6. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.

PART THREE

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Thrown down a challenge.

PART FOUR

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about the thing you suggest.

在带出每一个卡耐基想要表达的想法之前，卡耐基都会引用各个人士的经验之谈来作为该想法的证明。

我个人是觉得，这些方法是很实用的，但也不容易用在生活中。如果你的脾气一向很急，或者你一向不屑于附和别人，这些方法是真的很难引用在生活中。可是，透过卡耐基书中所写的一些人士的经验，我觉得这些方法一旦成功被引用在生活中，你的人际关系将会大大提高。

不过呢，我是没有试验过，我只能说，这本书所给予的想法是很吸引人的。如果能让自己改善人际关系，那何不试一试呢？

此外，在陈述各方人士的经验时，有一些当时他们所讲的话以及说话方式，也是值得参考的。万一，有一天我们会有需要呢？

这是一本我觉得值得一看的书，推荐！

*彦籽看的是原文书，所以就没有中文版的重点摘要了，对于想要看中文版的朋友们建议你们去看中文版的《如何赢取友谊与影响他人》或者在网上再找找看有没有中文版的重点摘要吧，抱歉 ((鞠躬

*以上图画来自于网络，其余皆有作者自己编写。如有什么问题，欢迎让作者知道谢谢！




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